With Festivus arriving, people everywhere have gotten down to the celebration of this wonderful non-Christmas holiday. Yes, Christmas is coming, but first we must pause for Festivus. As the character Frank Costanza said in the Seinfeld episode “The Strike,” there had to be another way.
Of course, there IS another way and it’s hilarious. Put up an unadorned aluminum pole instead of a Christmas tree, prepare a weird feast, and instead of slathering your friends and family with complements, tell them all the ways they’ve disappointed you in the past year. Finally, complete the celebration with feats of strength that only end once the head of the household is pinned to the floor.
All the while, be on the lookout for Festivus miracles, which can be any occurrence, large or small, significant or lame, that occur to make the day different. You can freely use the phrase “It’s a Festivus Miracle” to make just about anything seem special, i.e., “The bathroom floor barely squeaked this morning. It’s a Festivus miracle!”
Festivus is for Pet Adoption
The “Second Chance Pet Adoption League” has taken the time to spread the news that Festivus is considered an official holiday of the animal rescue world as it is the perfect anti-holiday for pets who have been let down by humans in the past.
In a Facebook post, the league laid out the situation, “Our dogs have a lot of problems with people, and now you are going to hear about them with their airing of grievances 😖 Most of them are justified and we share them. Maybe once they gather around the aluminum pole and vent they will start the new year in better moods 😬”
Pooch Guards the Pole from Tinsel Placements
At Paul’s house the pole is clearly marked as tinsel free and there is a trusty canine who keeps it that way.
Paul wrote, “Our dog (which was a shelter dog a decade ago) is displaying the proper level of Festivus attitude this morning – meh.”
Three poles and no distractions
Via Facebook, Ken Koncerak reports he has three Festivus Poles and no distracting tinsel in his front yard. There’s an amazing strength-to-weigh-ratio on display here. Happy Festivus Ken!
Festivus Sweater for Warmth
Evening Edge Todd, a Talk host on WHIO Radio in Dayton, Ohio, sports a dashing Festivus sweater as he conducted his show on Festivus Eve, which was in part an airing of grievances. Happy Festivus Todd!
A Well-Organized Festivus
Camelia Melendez Rodriguez, from Temple, TX has prepared for Festivus with a blackboard of instructions including “Not for the timid” and “No weapons please.”
