For good, bad and ugly, Festivus 2020 arrived, and the grievances were many. In a year that has been unique in its awfulness, we put Jerry Stiller’s face onto all three characters in the three-way standoff scene from the movie The Good, the Bad and the Ugly, played by Clint Eastwood, Lee Van Cleef and Eli Wallach. It’s like a triple airing of grievances by Frank Costanza himself!

In the long list below, we present one-hundred Festivus grievances, great and small, published on our website during Festivus 2020. Yes, we moderated the submissions, as we had to weed out anything that was libelous, inflammatory, racist, hate speech, or fake news. If you have a problem with this, then maybe you are the problem.

We hope you enjoy this list, and find some gripes you didn’t realize you had. The numbering is not a ranking.

One-Hundred Festivus Grievances

1. Losing Jerry Stiller! (Anonymous)
2. Trying to retire and my organization is making it sooo difficult. Seriously, folks. Just let me leave! (Dances like Elaine)
3. Raisin bagel? I never thought I’d live to see that. (Real Peterman)
4. I hate when people say diet pop is bad for me and then begin to lecture me about it. (Therese)
5. My mom keeps pressuring me to have babies. I’m not even dating anyone. (No Soup For You)
6. This year’s grievance is those ridiculous fake eyelashes that all the instamodel wannabes are wearing. They don’t look attractive, they don’t look natural, they look like crusty spider pubes glued to their eyelids. I’m tempted to blast them with insecticides. (Sue Doughnim)
7. To Taco Bell:Life was already hard enough and 2020 sucked, so why did you choose NOW to take the enchirito off your menu? WTF? (Taco bout complaining..)
8. My cat keeps stepping on my computer when I’m on my work zoom calls. She’s muted my computer, made the mouse disappear, and typed things into the chat. And if I move her she just comes back! (Elaine)
9. To the worthless idiot who stole my debit card info and I had to waste an entire day fixing everything. May the Festivus pole find it’s rightful place in one of your orifices???? (TexasKrampus)
10. Stop making seltzer’s… we don’t need this many seltzer’s! (Anonymous)
11. Sick of y’all judging me because I could eat cheese itz and wine for supper for 6 nights in a row. (Not taking it anymore)
12. Referee face masks with pouches for the whistle (Keith Hernandez only Football)
13. Riding your bike on the sidewalk when there is a bike lane! (Imwalkinghere)
14. I live in a triple decker one man above me…one under me….we have a super long driveway and parking lot…..and no one helps me shovel snow….they wait for for me to do it…..what kind of men are these!!! (Nancy P.)
15. My toes are cold! Broke my foot and they never get warmed up now! (The Sperz)
16. It’s not Ms. Wall, it’s MRS. Wall goshdarnit! Covid. Enough said. (I am Mrs Wall)
17. My new boyfriend is polyamorous, I got a chip in my windshield from a stray rock, my back hurts, and I’m out of weed. Fml. (Anonymous)
18. To my personal trainer: I am eating those Krispy Kreme donut holes you told me not to eat and I don’t give a damn. Just stop with the “they don’t even taste that good” crap. LOL! I don’t want to hear it. (Something to complain about)
19. To my nearest office mate, you pass wind and insist on pre-announcing it, including your previous evening’s meal. While this violates no specific policy, and we live in a country with free health care, you make no attempt to relieve our suffering. You genuinely enjoy sharing your colonic perfume with us. I await the day the vapour becomes so thick it is visible to the naked eye. With absolutely zero respect, Your Nemesis. (Tenille Dyingnose)
20. People who think carrying a semi-automatic rifle is the best way to resolve imaginary persecution. (Joe Blough)

Serious Stuff

21. My family lost 3 loved ones this year… My mother-in-law (February) My brother (June) My wife’s great aunt (June) (Dan Whaley)
22. Kobe. Purnam. Suzy. Am I missing something? Oh, 23k+ other lives, our mental health, life as we knew it, and a lot of other poop. You fudged it up 2020. And running with a mask flipping sucks. (Emilio Boomdazzle)
23. I have a big problem with my ex and you people are gonna hear about it. I’m still not over her kicking me out of our house and her loser bf moving in. That said, my relationship with my teenage kids have never been better, and I’ve been dating my college crush since June (we’ve been friends for 30 years). (JT)
24. I did nice things for people all year but when I needed help, same people wanted to charge me money for their time. (Claire)
25. I have had it up to HERE with humanity! we are in 2020 and supposed to be evolving and I just cannot believe the amount of hate and judgment, violence and insolence that has plagued our planet. Fu*k off all you ignorant SOB’s (The Maestro)
26. My girlfriend is deep into Christmas and would regard any Festivus festivities as incomprehensibly weird, so I have to air my grievances here. Her mother is literally demented, but not demented enough, she still knows how to be sarcastic. I know everything is an illusion, but why do some people’s illusions have to be so stupid? (Fred)
27. My boss is a idiot. (Landon Bott)
28. My friends boyfriend is a jerk and she won’t drop him. (Anonymous)
29. I finally got a raise at work. A whole dollar. Then my hours were reduced. THANKS A LOT YA CORPORATE PIGS. (YoMama)
30. There were layoffs at the beginning of the year in my office where people were walked out. COVID-19 hit and I was given new accounts, but could not visit any of them. I caught COVID-19 and was hospitalized for a week. Even though I had insurance it cost me over $5k out of pocket. Luckily I still have a job, just trying to make it to the end of the year. (Anonymous)

Covid Sucks

31. Covid SUCKS! (Elaine)
32. Tickling my nasopharynx to find out if I have COVID-19! (Carey Mack)
33. People still think COVID is a hoax! (Anonymous)
34. My school is virtual for the rest of the semester. (Anonymous)
35. The newest catch-phrase is “your mike is off”! (JimmyLikesElaine)
36. Wearing gloves at the grocery store and still touching your face. (Anonymous)
37. Cardboard cutouts at games and crowd noise piped in. Gag. (Anonymous)
38. All the phrases that have accompanied the pandemic but ESPECIALLY “mask up.” (Anonymous)
39. Covid19 is killing me, slashing business’ hours of operations, closing bars and nightclubs, and most of all killing hundreds of thousands of people. Happy Festivus! (Bricaf)
40. I’ve got A LOT of problems with you people! Hoarding! Why are people hoarding TP, Tylenol, Clorox wipes?! Let’s do the math… if you have a family of four how many rolls do you go through in a week?! Let’s say max 4 a week times 4 weeks in a month, that 16 rolls a month. So why do you need 100+ rolls of TP?! That would last you a little over 6 months!! Seriously, there’s enough TP for everyone, as long as you dumb asses don’t hoard it! Stop it! (Donna  Chang)
41. People bitching about how wearing a mask during a pandemic takes away their freedom… Give me a break! (Anonymous)
42. I have a lot of problems with you people — especially my parents who insist on “Christmas as usual” this holiday season, entertaining out-of-town guests from multiple states within a week!! I love you, but think you’re crazy for doing this!!! (Anonymous)
43. Grocery store customers! They’re idiots! (Anonymous)
44. Anti-mask morons. (Jopageri)
45. The butchering of the word “unprecedented.” (Anonymous)
46. The phrase “we’re all in this together.” (Anonymous)
47. 2020 had the best music line up in years in Virginia Beach!!! Canceled! (Where are my Doobies??)
48. Getting scolded by cashiers when I forget to stand on the red social distancing circle in the grocery store checkout lane. Like I don’t know I’m pathetic. (Spareasquare)
49. Blaming extreme flatulence on COVID-19. (Anonymous)
50. Covid sucks. Can’t eat at restaurants, go drinking in a bar and socialize, spend time on person with friends and relatives… yes zoom is NOT the same! Can’t go to see live music, no concerts, no comedy shows, no movie theaters, no mall shopping. My going out is only to grocery stores and CVS or Walgreens, I got very close to the workers there I go so often. (Fusilli Jerry)
51. I can’t go to my gym to work out, so I thought I would buy a yoga mat and some light weights to try and keep in shape until I can safely return to my gym. I have injured my neck twice, pulled my stomach muscle and threw my back out twice. It’s not because I’m getting older. It’s 2020! I now walk. (SF)
52. I got a lot of problems with you people… starting with “Stay Safe” that you all say to each other. Don’t you know that being safe never got you laid or paid. And where is the fun in that? (Anonymous)
53. 2020 has been a terrible year! I lost one of my good friends to cancer, experienced way too much “quality time” with my family, and online school stinks! (Lexi)
54. Wear your damn masks and get the COVID-19 vaccine when you have the opportunity. We miss hugging our family! (Liz)
55. Can’t sit down in a restaurant and get a BIG SALAD! Couldn’t celebrate Cinco de Mayo on Taco Tuesday this year! (JimmyLikesElaine)
56. Covid, anti-maskers, morons who are DYING that think Covid is fake news, priorities for testing and vaccine (athletes, rich people and entertainers first), people still getting killed by the police even after all the protests, being unemployed, the million acres burned in OR keeping me locked in my bedroom masked up for two weeks, not getting a hug since March, not seeing my baby nephew in person since February, my elderly parents not making their annual trip to see west coast family. Wow, this year sucked so hard. (Is it over yet?)

Politics

57. I live in a country where the President pardons a turkey on Thanksgiving and then pardons all his turkey friends at Christmas. (Disappointed)
58. Trump – you lost the election. Please go away now! (Anonymous)
59. All Democrats. (Tony)
60. The megalomaniac who will not accept that he lost the election. Give it up! (The real Elaine)
61. When someone loses an election they should accept the will of the people. That is what it is all about. Someone wins and someone loses. If you lose, you are the loser. (Anonymous)
62. All the government you-know-whos that wouldn’t wear masks are now getting the vaccine before anyone else. Should be last. (Anonymous)
63. People who complain about the government and then don’t vote. (Anonymous)
64. Leaders don’t lead… especially here in the UK. Why are nice things so expensive. Why do old people who have more money than the rest of us moan about everything? (MRchimp)
65. The wrong guy won the election. No, scratch that, the wrong guy won the Democratic nomination. Bernie Sanders should be president! (Anonymous)
66. Where to start?! People, in general, have been extremely irritating in 2020. I really hate it when people put so many political signs in their yard. I get it, you’re voting for so and so, do you need 10 yard signs, a flag and a banner in your window?! I get it! (Anonymous)

Fake News

67. I’m sick of people blaming the media for doing their jobs. (Nebulous N)
68. People who listen to conspiracy theories all day long and think the real news is fake news. (Real Stuff)
69. I’m tired of my fellow countrymen getting their news from Facebook, Twitter, and other unverified sources! Knock it off! And don’t just watch the news network you agree with! Watch 5-10 minutes of them all 1-2 times per week! (IdahoRick)
70. I’m sick of the MEDIA tearing this country apart. You click one channel it says this then click on the next channel it says the exact opposite. Can these people stop adding their two cents report the news stop adding your little tone to things. The Press stop adding these ridiculous adjectives to headlines to make it sound so much more outrageous! (Anonymous)

Burns my biscuits

71. It just burns my biscuits that people are incompetent at their job. I don’t mean like a newbie that’s still learning the ropes. I mean people that have been in their jobs for a couple of years and don’t know the basics. I do QC for law firms and the shear incompetence of some attorneys is breathtaking. I SMH so much I feel like a UFC fighter. (OverEd)
72. Have you noticed that when you honk at someone for nearly killing you with their car they act like you did something wrong by honking?? (Anonymous)
73. I covered my boss’ portion of an office birthday gift this summer and he still hasn’t paid me back — no lunch, no coffee, nothing. (SNOOPY PRICKLY PETE)
74. My husband got turtles, didn’t look into hibernation requirements, and now half the living room is turtle habitat (Frustrated wife)
75. What is with the sanctimonious jerks who are ready to tattle on you or critique your every move? (Little Jerry)
76. I have a big problem with these grievances. They’re too funny, some of them, and I’m getting horse from laughing too loud. Oy gevalt! (Maury Poppins)
77. My coworker won’t stop making dad jokes and doing annoying dances. (Newman)
78. I have to sit here… Like an animal! (Rissein)
79. It’s cold and my butt hurts! (Butthurt Sally)
80. My coworkers are negative a$$holes (Spongeworthy)
81. I’m missing our annual Festivus week long celebration at work with enough food to feed an army – none of it healthy! (Anonymous)
82. My husband calls me an incompletionist. (Ricki)
83. You tailgate me, so I slow down a bit so you will pass. But you still stay behind me like you enjoy sucking my exhaust. (Driver Dave)
84. My older brother IS and ALWAYS has been the favorite. NO-ONE acknowledges it, but EVERYONE knows it deep down. (Joel)
85. Enough with the emotional support animals everywhere. We get it. You really need attention. We see you. We understand this is the only way you can get people to notice you.  (Alex Berg)
86. I’m tired of phone companies getting away with not giving you a physical contract and having non-corporate stores. And expecting you to tell the difference with their copyrighted signs all over those stores. I’m sick of their loop holes. (Nebulous N)
87. My husband seconds this because he’s sick of hearing me complain about it- I hate how in movies/TV shows when people are carrying to go coffees the cups are clearly empty… You can tell… I can tell…. Just put a little water in the darn cup!!! (Nance)
88. When I come home from work and all the lights in the house are on. All the lights. Every day. Just flick the switch when you leave the room. That’s all. (Who is this?)
89.  I teach 8th grade and none of my kids get my Seinfeld references! Need more reruns? Or maybe I’m too old… (JimmyLikesElaine)

Major Issues!

90. I gotta problem with Christmas. It’s still going on. No Need. And shoppers. All of them. Especially the unmasked ones. and Brexit. Absolute dafties. (Not Elaine)
91. This year I lost my job of 15 years. So, Now I’m unemployed and live with my brother. Wishing you the best of Seinfeld everyday. Maybe I should do the opposite? (Unemployed Wine sales)
92. Jerry stiller is dead, COVID-19 in general, I can’t see my grandparents especially the one in the moderate/late stage of Alzheimer’s, Seinfeld has been off the air since 1998 in which is over 22 years, anti-vaxxers, Karen’s, flat-earthers and conspiracy theorists. (The human fund)
93. Why have two if you’re never gonna use ’em!!! Two drive thru lines in many establishments around me, and THEY ONLY EVER OPERATE ONE! WHY?! My mother in law needs to drink more water as she always has dry mouth. It makes the pronunciations of some words intolerable to listen to. The bottle of hand soap in the downstairs restroom (my favorite of the house) hasn’t had soap in over a month! I refuse, out of protest, to fill it. I ALWAYS FILL IT! (Michael Schmidt)
94. I can’t have my annual Festivus party due to COVID. I will miss airing grievances in person, feats of strength and regifting. My brother is awesome btw! No grievance on him. (Elaine Dancer)
95. I’ve got a problem with you people! In the throws of a major pandemic, we experienced an F3 tornado, a devastating derecho storm, and a 34% property tax increase during an election year. What the heck man! 2020 get outta here! (Marko Polo)
96. 2020-the whole damn thing! COVID-19, lockdowns, job losses, masks, no toilet paper, murder hornets, social injustice and unrest, the Presidential election–the list goes on!! Be Gone and Good Riddance. (Shari Lynne Tribble)
97. Why does my cat have to take up more space on my bed than I do? If roofs are supposed to last 15 years why is the “work” only warranted for 2? Why is my autocorrect always wrong… at the worst time? Why is there always laundry? Who decided car batteries only last 2 years? Why do we have to call it health insurance when it’s really more like a coupon? (Nebulous N)
98. 2020 has sucked for my health. I want my health to be better please. My cat could scratch me less. My husband could be a bit more emotionally inclined and sensitive to my needs. World peace please, Jees this world is tough. No more government funding cutbacks, just do your job and be supportive to NHS and everyone else, including disabled and vulnerable.
99. This d##n year has been EXHAUSTING! Political mania… obsessive views… ineptitude all around… dealing with retail clerks who could care less (if they were paid a living wage, I believe they would care.) COVID, not being able to gather with friends and family – ugh! I also have a big problem with people just not being civil to one another, only because they can be that nasty. Other than my husband, I hate people. (Disgusted L)
100. 2020 was supposed to be the best year ever. When the Covid-19 hit the world, we all had cabin fever! Social distancing is hard because we all can’t hug or kiss. Although we have to wear the mask according to law, facial masks are the new trends according to designs on Amazon. We all have been looking forward to the Olympics but its moved to next year. And this is all Trump’s fault. (Not saying anything controversial about politics) we lost the greatest woman in supreme court history, Ruth Bader Ginsburg. R.I.P Jerry Stiller and King T’Challa of Wakanda. WAKANDA FOREVER!!! And to make matters worse, they closed all the movie theaters while movies are now streaming such as Onward, Trolls World Tour, and the Croods a New Age. (Zhen Ni Xun Hua)
101. I got a lot of problems with you people on NextDoor ! You know who you are ! ???And Kenji sent me here to read his grievances, so I had to read 7 pages of other people’s grievances, and it wasn’t there. I got a lot of problems with that! This year everybody wants to be my friend, but only online. I got a lot of problems with that! Donald Trump is not gone yet. The inter-webs tell me that I am in line for Covid vaccination behind 268.7 million Americans. Due to a battle between wholesalers and fishermen, there will be no ? for the Bay Area this Christmas. An unspoken agreement between crab fishermen means that if one big boat refuses to go out, none of them can go. San Francisco’s restaurants and cafes were permitted to create patios, or “parklets,” so that they could operate outdoors, an option which offered a critical lifeline. Which I enjoyed. Before the cold weather set in, owners often spent in the neighborhood of $15,000 to construct them, hoping to save their struggling businesses. Then, on December 6, SF shut down outdoor dining, and they were forced to abandon the parklets that they had painstakingly designed and constructed. Now, empty parklets across SF are becoming magnets for people experiencing homelessness and suffering from substance-abuse disorders and/or psychological illnesses. Leaving these owners feeling hoodwinked into building makeshift housing for the homeless. Modular housing that could be constructed quickly and inexpensively has been rejected, mostly because labor unions oppose it, it is said. Trump has issued 26 new pardons, including for Stone, Manafort and Charles Kushner. After 100 years, the Far East Cafe in SF’s Chinatown, one of only two Chinese banquet restaurants still remaining, will close at the end of the month. Festivusweb doesn’t allow me to vote for the funniest grievances. I got a lot of problems with all this. I lost my train of thought! I got a LOT of problems with THAT ! OK, K ? ? (Cheryl W.)

In Conclusion

102. Where do I start?! Working with one idiot in particular – the rest are ok,. But I don’t trust them. This persons actions reflect more about where they are in their life than about me. And friendships are back and forth, not nothing with people who give back 50% when I put in 100%. But hey, I get to leave these grievances behind into 2020 along with COVID-19, bush fires, shitty people and bad friends. (Kit Cat)
103. I’ve had it with all you overly happy, sentimental slobs! Stop pretending you love everyone only to turn on us all in the New Year!!! (Kramer’s Biggest Fan)
104. 2020 has let me down this year. I got so many problems wit hit . (Festy the festivite)
105. All of you have been a complete disappointment to me. Once and again you failed. (OTERO)
106. I have a problem with you people who have so many grievances! Yada yada yada. Lighten up. (Fusilli 6)

Yes, we know, we actually have 106 grievances on this page, and not 100. It was a tough year!

If you wish to respond, or have a grievance of your own, please use the comment form below.

Hope you had a Happy Festivus!