Kruger, you couldn’t smooth a silk sheet if you had a hot date with a babe… I lost my train of thought.
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People who take politics too seriously. They spend all day online arguing about politicians who could couldn’t give two craps about them. What a waste of energy. Live life, enjoy your friends and family, smile. Life is great without the BS.
I’m tired of all the idiots. There are idiots everywhere. They are inescapable. Work, the grocery store, TV, EVERYWHERE. THEY EVEN HAUNT MY DREAMS. You’d think the Jerk Store would have run out of idiots by now, but no, they just keep coming. I want one day without idiots, or where I’m allowed to tell idiots that they are idiots. As Festivus is as close as I can get, here we go. To my coworkers who I cannot name, most of you are idiots who are grossly incompetent at what you do and shouldn’t be allowed outside of a mental institution. To my boss, the fact that you care so little and are so idiotic is the only way that I can comprehend how you have hired such stupid people. Please finally retire so that the idiots above you can find a less destructive idiot to fill your place. To my family, you people are idiots and suck. To my (few) friends, you are alright, but man do you sometimes do stupid things. And, especially to my customers, you lot are the most dumb of them all. The fact that you just shovel whatever is put in front of you into your brain is offensive to the rest of mankind. Go read a book or at least try to learn a new word every once in a while rather than sitting on your couch munching on frozen corn dogs covered in ketchup watching other idiots on television. The idiot-a-facation of society is embarrassing to humans as a species and we need to be able to do better. AND THE FACT THAT SO MANY IDIOTS DON’T KNOW THEY ARE IDIOTS IS THE MOST OFFENSIVE PART OF IT ALL. WHY ARE WE TOLERATING THIS AS HUMANS? I lost my train of thought.
I want a singing telegram to deliver my grievances this year. I cannot find a singing telegram in my town! How hard is it for someone to start a business in a rural town so that my grievances can be set to showtunes and delivered to the recipients in the main street????
Another grievance I have is that it’s a lot of work to celebrate Festivus AND deliver my grievances. I have so many. It’s a lot of work.
If anything, at least Ken Jennings hasn’t ruined Jeopardy like Drew Carey ruined the Price is Right! As for Ryan Seacrest becoming host of Wheel of Fortune, I’m giving him a chance, but I don’t think he’s doing as good a job as Pat Sajak did.
Fatty Arbuckle was acquitted of rape but his films were intentionally destroyed anyway but this year Blink Twice was released even though Christian Slater was once jailed for domestic violence
You know how to *take* the reservation, you just don’t know how to *hold* the reservation. And that’s really the most important part of the reservation: the holding. Anybody can just take them.
Why do I need a new smartphone every year? Why do they make me feel a new phone is necessary? I hate these people.
My grievance is inflation. Everything went up in price but my wages stayed about the same. If that’s not a grievance I don’t know what is.
People who take politics too seriously. They spend all day online arguing about politicians who could couldn’t give two craps about them. What a waste of energy. Live life, enjoy your friends and family, smile. Life is great without the BS.
I’m tired of all the idiots. There are idiots everywhere. They are inescapable. Work, the grocery store, TV, EVERYWHERE. THEY EVEN HAUNT MY DREAMS. You’d think the Jerk Store would have run out of idiots by now, but no, they just keep coming. I want one day without idiots, or where I’m allowed to tell idiots that they are idiots. As Festivus is as close as I can get, here we go. To my coworkers who I cannot name, most of you are idiots who are grossly incompetent at what you do and shouldn’t be allowed outside of a mental institution. To my boss, the fact that you care so little and are so idiotic is the only way that I can comprehend how you have hired such stupid people. Please finally retire so that the idiots above you can find a less destructive idiot to fill your place. To my family, you people are idiots and suck. To my (few) friends, you are alright, but man do you sometimes do stupid things. And, especially to my customers, you lot are the most dumb of them all. The fact that you just shovel whatever is put in front of you into your brain is offensive to the rest of mankind. Go read a book or at least try to learn a new word every once in a while rather than sitting on your couch munching on frozen corn dogs covered in ketchup watching other idiots on television. The idiot-a-facation of society is embarrassing to humans as a species and we need to be able to do better. AND THE FACT THAT SO MANY IDIOTS DON’T KNOW THEY ARE IDIOTS IS THE MOST OFFENSIVE PART OF IT ALL. WHY ARE WE TOLERATING THIS AS HUMANS? I lost my train of thought.
I’M ANGRY !!!
Just because I don’t want to be in a relationship with you doesn’t mean that I’m gay, just that I don’t want to be with you.
My mother-in-law puts raisins in her potato salad. It looks bad and tastes wrong.
I’m annoyed with myself for finding Grissom from CSI to be cute.
I want a singing telegram to deliver my grievances this year. I cannot find a singing telegram in my town! How hard is it for someone to start a business in a rural town so that my grievances can be set to showtunes and delivered to the recipients in the main street????
Another grievance I have is that it’s a lot of work to celebrate Festivus AND deliver my grievances. I have so many. It’s a lot of work.
Nobody is as good as Alex Trebek was on Jeopardy.
I agree with you there, but Ken Jennings isn’t too bad if you ask me.
If anything, at least Ken Jennings hasn’t ruined Jeopardy like Drew Carey ruined the Price is Right! As for Ryan Seacrest becoming host of Wheel of Fortune, I’m giving him a chance, but I don’t think he’s doing as good a job as Pat Sajak did.
If anyone wants to talk about politics at my family gatherings I might take a drumstick and shove it where the sun don’t shine.
Last year Aunt Patty regifted the spatula set I bought for her. See if she gets the ginsu kinives I have for her this year.
Fatty Arbuckle was acquitted of rape but his films were intentionally destroyed anyway but this year Blink Twice was released even though Christian Slater was once jailed for domestic violence
You know how to *take* the reservation, you just don’t know how to *hold* the reservation. And that’s really the most important part of the reservation: the holding. Anybody can just take them.