Festivus 2022 represented the 25th anniversary since the Seinfeld Festivus episode aired on December 18, 1997.

Since then, the cacophony of Festivus grievances has risen to the current level, and aided by the recent despair and disgust the Covid-19 pandemic has brought to the world, there is no shortage of things to complain about.

In the list below, we present one-hundred Festivus grievances, great and small, published on our website during Festivus 2022. In the Seinfeld episode “The Strike,” Frank Costanza lost his train of thought while airing a grievance about his son’s boss. These folks didn’t lose their train of thought.

Last year there were more complaints about Covid. We have also had years where politics seemed to monopolize the complaints. This year, not so much, as the complaints seem to have shifted to the banal and mundane drudgery of life itself. No huge surprise there. Since COVID has begun less of a problem for folks their complaints have shifted to the act of getting back to normal life, and there’s a lot to complain about.

Here is the list. Maybe you will find your own complaint in the pile, or discover some gripes you didn’t realize you had. Yes, we moderated the submissions, as we had to weed out anything that was libelous, inflammatory, racist, hate speech, or fake news. If you have a problem with this, please send us your complaints. We just love to hear from our fans.

The numbering is not a ranking.

I’VE GOT A LOT OF PROBLEMS WITH YOU PEOPLE!

1. The same people I aired grievances against last year are even more stupid this year. (LoLoTheHoHo)
2. My organization makes me use the Windows operating system. (Anonymous)
3. Scammers who call at 6:30 or 7:00 in the morning, from “your electric company”, “your TV provider”, “debt elimination”, “Medicare”, trying to get my credit card number or Medicare ID number. No soup for them! (T. Rex)
4. I’m tired of so few caring about the state of water in the world and even when they do seem to do not spend the time and effort to correct the problem (The Water Guy)
5. Listening to music at full volume on your phone in the grocery store. Buy some headphones. The audio quality is better anyway. (Anonymous)
6. My grievance is to those who lie and openly promote cryptocurrency only because they want the value of their own crypto portfolio to rise. It’s a fake economy. (Anonymous)
7. Dopes who take 50 items to self checkout and don’t know how it works. (Anonymous)
8. I have a lot of problems with microwaves that never stop beeping after the timer goes off… I only need 1 beep! (Jason M)
9. I got a lot of problems with you people who don’t vote! Do you want to live in a representative democracy or not! (Jason M)
10. Leaving time on the microwave. (HH)
11. My grievance is with manufacturers who put everything, including food, in hard to open plastic. I need scissors, pliers, knives and box cutters to open the darn thing. Coal for you this year! (everyone I know)
12. Perfume and cologne should be outlawed. No, you don’t smell good. You’re giving me asthma & a headache, not to mention I now feel sick to my stomach. Stop wearing that shit! (Anonymous)
13. You text me and want an answer immediately, yet it takes a week for your reply! Ugh!!! Serenity Now!!! (Heidi)
14. All of you people, that walk around Wal Mart, talking on your cell phones on speaker1 STHU. we do not want to hear your conversations!!! (nomad)
15. Rich people. Who needs ’em?? (Anonymous)

Really Boils My Biscuits

16. People who don’t return shopping carts. They are selfish heathens who should be locked up to make shopping better for decent people. (You Know I’m Right)
17. People who take a ton of groceries into the self checkout. Leave the self checkout to those that want to pop in, buy a few things, and get out. (Anonymous)
18. Taco Bell keeps bringing back those awful Nacho Fries but they haven’t brought back my beloved Double Decker Taco. (Anonymous)
19. I am aggrieved by the ridiculosity of making permanent tax cuts for the wealthy and expiring tax cuts for who? The Rest Of Us! Violation of the Festivus spirit! (Dave)
20. Flames of War Late war, your infantry suck! (Anonymous)
21. Why do we need so many guns? (L.T.)
22. Hot dogs sold in 8 packs and rolls come in 6 packs… stop the insanity, I need serenity now! (Lawna)
23. Why is it that the people in the back of the elevator are the first ones to get off? If you’re on a lower floor, stay by the door! (andy)
24. My grievance is against those fake television fireplaces. If they are so great why don’t people play them all year round? (Anonymous)
25. I am sick of these companies doing away with user manuals. I don’t want to go to your crappy website. So basically you are forcing me to have access to the internet to learn how to program my coffee maker. (Lisa M)
26. No toilet paper in the bathroom!! (Pat madix)
27. The Big Mac is so small now they should rename it the Teeny Tiny Mac. (Anonymous)
28. I got a lot of problems with ME TV showing The Three Stooges! They have episodes that they either edit or do not show at all of Curley. One is No Dough Boys. Stop doing this to Curley shorts Me TV! Instead do not show any Joe shorts! (Omae)
29. People who blow their noses in restaurants. (CRM)
30. The rent is to damn high! (Not to be named)
31. Rude people who walk into an elevator talking on their phone, like they think everyone else cares to hear their stupid conversation. (Anonymous)
32. Republicans supposed to be the party of law and order but they support a treasonous insurrection of our nation’s house of law and order? (Anonymous)

Pet Perturbations

33. My cat has bad morning breath. I love that little fur ball, just don’t breath on me first thing in the morning. (Anonymous)
34. My cat slapping me in the face until I wake up. (Snap)
35. Static electricity builds up when I pet my cats in the winter, and it discharges into their sensitive noses and ears. How am I supposed to explain these shocks to my cats? (Anonymous)
36. My dog still wants to eat my cats poop! Today it happened! I had the litter box out to clean and she snuck in and did that naughty thing. I feel guilty for yelling at her! I love her so much ❤️❤️❤️ (Serenity Now!)
37. Invited to an old friends place and the dog sniffed my crotch the whole time. It’s like the dog needed a new crotch to sniff so the called and invited me over. (Anonymous)

Sports Beefs

38. NFL fair catches. The most boring play in football. (Anonymous)
39. If it comes to the point where we need to make Soylent Green from humans we should start with NASCAR fans. (Anonymous)
40. My job sucks, the Buffalo Bills lost to the chiefs in the divisional round with 13 seconds left in the game up by 3 points and the Miami Hurricanes officially wasn’t bowl eligible for the first time since 2007. (gobills)
41. Everything surrounding the 2022 FIFA World Cup is a grievance worth airing. FIFA couldn’t smooth a silk sheet if it had a hot date with a babe. (Anonymous)
42. Argentina winning the FIFA World Cup! (Anonymous)
43. It supposed to come home, but it didn’t. Damn you, Harry Kane (Ibs)
44. Qatar clearly bribed FIFA to allow them to host the World Cup even if they don’t have a rich soccer history. (Anonymous)
45. I have a problem with people glorifying this World Cup like it wasn’t placed in Qatar through multi million bribes of the Qatari officials and in the backs of almost 7 thousand of dead migrant workers. It possess me off. There. I’ve also had it with Elon Musk. I want him send to space and left there. (Aggie.)

Hilarious Heartaches

46. I’m not sure because I was under sedation, but I think the doctors were laughing during my colonoscopy. What was so funny? Did someone tell a knock knock joke? (Anonymous)
47. My landlord picks his nose. I think he is wiping it on my door, but I can’t prove it. (Picked Off)
48. How come nobody does a comb over anymore? Did people finally realize that people weren’t buying a combed over flap of hair was hiding a bald spot? (Guy)
49. I think I was poisoned by swallowing a penny as a kid and it’s still down there because I burp copper. (Anonymous)
50. If you say you want to go camping don’t be surprised if a bear shows up. Wildlife is part of camping and bears are part of wildlife. I know I told you to pour the bacon grease in the bushes but I did not think you would do it. (Bear lover)
51. My sister in law smells like old cheese. (Anon)
52. I just learned now that Barbie and Ken may have been more than friends. I never thought of this before especially since they are smooth down there. (Anonymous)

Seinfeld Squawks

53. Not enough people are draping themselves in velvet (Stu Beans)
54. They know how to take the reservation, but they don’t know how to hold the reservation. And that’s really the most important part of the reservation: the holding. Anybody can just take them. (Jerry Dingleberry)
55. People who think Elaine’s dancing was gross and weird. I love the kicks and thumbs. Reminds me of the seventies. (Yes Elaine)
56. My sister thinks its cool to dance like Elaine Benes (Mark)
57. I’ve got a lot of problems with everyone, and their going to hear about it. They couldn’t smooth a silk sheet if they had a hot date with a babe. (Franky C)
58. The fact that it rained on my birthday The perverse threesome between the chicken rooster and hen 30 years later there still aren’t any vacancies in Tuscany or Del Boca Vista The fact that low fat donuts still taste awful. That I haven’t been offered peanuts on a flight in over 20 years (Martin Van Nostren)
59. Zip codes are meaningless. (Newman)
60. I lost my train of thought. (Anonymous)

Road Worriers

61. People in my town don’t know how to drive! (Anonymous)
62. People who don’t use turning signals because they love for you to guess what they are about to do. Bet you can’t guess what I am about to do? Surprise! (Frustrated Driver)
63. Slow ass drivers in rush hour traffic! Ya you heard me, mom in The Mini Van. Also people who stand so far back in the coffee line up that you want to push them forward. Maybe that’s just me. (Marni)
64. People that park right next to me when the entire parking lot is empty. Btw I park far from the door so it’s not like it’s a great spot. (Sue Ellen Misky)
65. Drivers who swerve into the lane to their left prior to making a right turn. Any driver I have to pass on the right. Drivers… People! Ahhhhh (Most everyone)
66. Drivers that signal a lane change and then come to a complete stop until someone in the other lane stops and lets them in. So pathetic. (Driver)
67. People who stop their car behind you because they want to take your parking spot. How am I supposed to get out? I know you moved back about 3 feet but I’m still not budging. (Anonymous)
68. The left lane on an interstate is for passing, not for causing massive backups! ? ? ? (Pepper)

Holiday Pains

69. Working Retail During the Holidays (Anonymous)
70. Family who mostly forget to include a 92 year old aunt in their holiday plans! (Lucy lou)
71. Christmas demands money and with today’s inflation poor people can’t afford the essentials. Maybe that’s why Festivus is still popular. (Anonymous)
72. I think I speak for a lot of people when I ask this question. Isn’t Christmas shopping a pain? I mean, stores overcrowded with people buying gifts and food and parking lots completely full, and I don’t drive. Christmas is supposed to be about peace and love, but now it seems to be more about greed and gluttony. Not to mention capitalism, which Vladimir Lenin said is fascism in decay. Even though Festivus is somewhat awkward and maybe a little mean-spirited depending on your perspective, it looks less stressful than Christmas. (Anonymous)
73. My Christmas lights are not in synch with each other, my neighbor copied my signature decoration and baby Jesus and his parents keep blowing over! PEOPLE let’s get it together!!! Happy Festivus to the rest of us! Can’t wait to air the grievances tonight! (Kelfin)
74. I’m disappointed, once again, in the fact I must buy presents for 9 nieces and nephews and get zero, zilch, nada, in return. Its not cheap being an uncle these days. (Anduflas)
75. People who think Die Hard is not a Christmas movie are outrageous, egregious, preposterous. (Jackie Chiles)

Weather Woes

76. Today was supposed to be my last day of work before the holidays. Unfortunately, cause of the “major” winter storm we were supposed to have, the school I work at was closed because of the weather, meaning that my Christmas vacation is beginning a day earlier than planned. For the storm, snow, rain, freezing rain, and strong winds were forecasted. So far, there’s been a bit of snow, rain, a bit of wind, and maybe freezing rain, but it hasn’t been as bad as forecasted. Nevertheless, the school I work at was closed and I’m going back only on the 10th of January. Is it just me or is everybody overreacting to the weather nowadays? Anyway, Happy Festivus! (Anonymous)
77. We were delayed in Chicago 2+hrs. We finally got into airport around 2:30 this morning. Left Vegas around 9am. Then had to go out in dark to trek the rain to get our car which stayed place stayed open for us. Papa couldn’t figure out the lights so we drove thru rain no lights to hotel. He didn’t want to pull over. Longest trip evvvvvver. (Nana)

Workplace Woes

78. Working morning shift (NO ELAINE)
79. I have been an HR Coordinator for 25 yrs. It would be a great job if I didn’t have to deal with employees. I am tired of hearing about their problems. (DanA)
80. I got a lot of problems with you people who go to events and meetings when you’re sick and you cough your viruses all over me. Stay home. You’re not really that necessary. (Elaine)
81. My boss doesn’t listen to me. I get asked my opinion on something and they always take the opposite track. Why do I give my opinion? (Trent)
82. Can’t people just do the job they were hired and paid to do !! Ugh co workers (Enough already)
83. To my former employer who insisted we work with no operating bathroom for 6 weeks, no power, and told me I was overpaid after bringing in 3.5 million in grants–May you always be itchy where you can’t scratch. (Nan Schmeyer)
84. My boss is a real sociopath. She takes credit for our work, but secretly hates us minions. (Anonymous)

Personal Pains

85. My boyfriend of 8 years won’t come to family Christmas eve dinner. (Anonymous)
86. Why do people lie so much and then pretend that they did nothing wrong. (Roger)
87. When some people assume you’re okay when they know what’s going on in your life and they do nothing. Do Something!!!!!!! Don’t leave it up to me to make another decision as to how you can help me. Like saying, “Let me know if you need anything…” Just DO! Don’t put it on me! (Nancy)
88. I celebrated 5 years clean last month. I have a reliable car. A job that will survive the economy and I found my goddamned personality. Instead of enjoying my life I’m caring for my elderly grandpa wondering what he won’t be able to do next. I understand I volunteered for it and there’s no better option, but 2 months ago it was cooking at watching football, now it’s ducking everything. (That guy)
89. I’m getting a little tired of Gen Z stealing all of our stuff from the 80s and 90s and acting like they invented it. (Cranky Gen Xer that’s still cooler than any 21 year old.)
90. Serious. I have had issues caring for my mother for the past three months and after being a good friend to others, no one wants to help me through this, or even listen. Y’all suck (Elaine’s Hair.)
91. My grievance is that I can’t air my grievances at home! My husband is a grumpy old man and even the slightest hint of criticism, however well deserved (and trust me, it is well deserved!), and he goes into a grumpathon that can last for more than a week. *Ugh* (Kazza)
92. When family members say “call if you need anything” it SHOULD NOT be necessary to send a follow up text 5 days after the original text, that was sent to four people… and not one responded to. Nope. (CZ)
93. Maybe I will post the story, but no meatloaf dinner. Instead, a lunch, but mo pizza from Pechinnos (I don’t care and it shows)
94. I am furious that I’ll be unable to participate in the feats of strength this year. My shoulder is in constant pain, and it’s all George’s fault. (J Peterman rat hat)

I’m Griping Here!

1. Public transportation. Don’t get me wrong, I enjoy taking public transportation. It beats being stuck in traffic. The problem I have with public transportation is that the bus never shows up at the time it’s supposed to. It only shows up like five minutes later. Same thing for trains. Also, it’s a pain when every seat is taken and there are more people on busses or rapid transit trains. It’s so overcrowded it’s overwhelming. It feels a bit like you’re suffocating, am I right? Just ask Elaine when she was on her way to a friend’s wedding. Lastly, there’ll sometimes be a delay or cancelation and they don’t explain it to you and you find yourself waiting for minutes on end or you’ll have to wait for the next bus or train. Sometimes when you’re on a train, it’ll stop in the middle of it’s trip to it’s next destination and you’ll be stuck in there for awhile. Apart from that, public transportation is great. (Anonymous)
2. If parents could teach their little germ factories some basic etiquette to cover their mouths when they sneeze or cough that would be great. I don’t need to get sick from your little demon spawn because you have the intelligence of a coatrack to not know how to actually raise the little parasites you meat head humanoids unleashed on society. I’d tell you to teach them some manners but like everything else in life, like parenthood, you failed that too. When your kids become school dropouts, tell them I said I want a #5 with extra pickles and extra large fries. That’s all they’ll ever amount to in life, thanks to you. (Bobby “The Brain” Heenan)
3. You know what I got one. I was trying to post/think of something funnier earlier, but blah I am going with this. So people have lived upstairs before and they were quiet. For like a damn year now this person upstairs stomps loudly in what has to be combat boots upstairs and there are strange thuds too. I’d rather hear someone talking loudly than this crap. At least that could be interesting. Does this person not know how to walk like a normal person in their apartment and not stomp their feet everywhere!?! How hard is it to walk room to room and me not hear where this person is at all times. This is ridiculous! Serenity NOW!!!!!! (Cyrus)
4. I really can’t stand it when people unknowingly act too lazy and too incompetent to put shopping carts in shopping cart corrals in the parking lots of supermarkets and numerous other shopping franchise locations, especially during any season like Spring ,Summer, Autumn also known as Fall, and Winter. I am very disappointed in how people had been treating shopping carts. Leaving shopping carts all over the parking lot?,…Stealing shopping carts and then using them for their own selfish and uncaring desires?,…That really makes me not only feel hatred towards Humanity every now and then AND like an alien,…IT REALLY MAKES ME SICK! It’s NOT that hard to get some exercise, and to go put a shopping cart away in a cart corral after the shopping is done,you know. Curse you, Humanity!,…Sometimes ,just sometimes,you DISGUST me. And with that,I have aired MY grievances. I’m done. “Have a nice,…day.” ((Mister) Richard Allen Jensen)

IN-CONCLUSION

99. Putin. (There Stofus)
100. Ppl who go around knocking on doors loud like they are the police .Guess what I ain’t answering to buy your windows. I’ll look at you from my bay window and act like I don’t hear you. Sheesh mail a flyer or something (Lee lee)
101. Why are bananas so damn expensive? It’s bad enough ima throw them away, let alone at $1.00 a pound! (LaFonda)
102. I wouldn’t mind if people still gave everyone 6 ft of space… (Melenee)
103. Very upset that changes in our town that were made due to Covid19 are not going back to normal as we get back to normal. I don’t think normal will ever return and I don’t like many parts of the new normal. (chet)
104. Stupid people! That’s all. Just stupid people. Now that that’s aired, let’s discuss stupid people. (Not George)
105. If I want to wear a mask in public leave me be. With all the stinky and sweaty people in this city I should have started doing this long ago. (Anonymous)
106. People (Anonymous)

Yes, we know, we have more than 100 grievances on this page. There were too many grievances made this year!

If you wish to respond, or have a grievance of your own, please use the comment form below.

Hope you had a Happy Festivus!