With a mind not to accidentally invoke “Skynet,” we thought it might be safe to asked AI how to celebrate Festivus.

In its normal confident way, ChatGPT instantly came up with the following instructions.

ChatGPT Response: How do you celebrate Festivus?

Celebrating Festivus is a lighthearted and humorous way to embrace the unconventional holiday. While Festivus doesn’t have strict rules, its traditions, as popularized by the “Seinfeld” episode, include the “Airing of Grievances,” the “Feats of Strength,” and the display of an unadorned aluminum pole. Here’s a guide on how to celebrate Festivus:

1. **Get an Aluminum Pole:**
– The Festivus pole is a simple, unadorned aluminum pole. Find or create a pole and display it prominently during your Festivus celebration. The lack of decoration symbolizes Festivus’ anti-commercialism.

2. **Airing of Grievances:**
– Gather with friends or family and take turns expressing your grievances from the past year. It’s an opportunity to vent and share frustrations in a humorous and light-hearted manner. Remember, the goal is to be funny and not to create genuine conflict.

3. **Feats of Strength:**
– In the “Seinfeld” episode, the Festivus celebration concludes with the “Feats of Strength,” where the head of the household challenges a guest to a physical contest. The Festivus celebration is not considered over until the host is pinned. You can choose to engage in a playful physical activity or come up with a creative and humorous interpretation of the “Feats of Strength.”

4. **Festivus Dinner:**
– While Festivus doesn’t have specific traditional foods, you can have a festive meal with your favorite dishes. Some people choose to serve comfort foods or favorite family recipes.

5. **Festivus Miracles:**
– In the “Seinfeld” episode, George Costanza’s father, Frank, declares various events to be “Festivus miracles.” These are unexpected occurrences that are seen as positive surprises. You can incorporate this element into your celebration by acknowledging and celebrating small, unexpected joys or positive events that happened throughout the year.

6. **Watch the “Seinfeld” Episode:**
– If you haven’t already, consider watching the “Seinfeld” episode titled “The Strike” to get a sense of how Festivus is portrayed in the show.

7. **Create Your Own Traditions:**
– Festivus is meant to be a fun and creative celebration, so feel free to come up with your own traditions and activities. Incorporate elements that bring joy and laughter to your Festivus celebration.

Remember, the key to celebrating Festivus is to keep it light-hearted and enjoyable. It’s all in good fun, and you can customize the celebration to suit your sense of humor and the preferences of those participating.

AI Generated “Festivus” Images

We also asked the image generating AI engine OpenArt to create Festivus images. The results were mixed and definitely hilarious.

Apparently, according to AI it’s mostly ugly, burly men who celebrate Festivus.