Festivus 2023 represented the 26th anniversary since the Seinfeld Festivus episode aired on December 18, 1997. Since then, the yearly cacophony of Festivus grievances has risen each year and there doesn’t seem to be a reprieve in sight. Next year will likely bring even more Festivus complaints.

In the list below, we present over one-hundred Festivus grievances, great and small, collected via our website during Festivus 2023. In the Seinfeld episode “The Strike,” Frank Costanza lost his train of thought while airing a grievance about his son’s boss. Most folks who aired grievances on our web site did not lose their train of thought.

Last year there were more complaints about Covid. This year’s complaints featured more gripes about money and work issues.

Here is the list. Maybe you will find your own complaint in the pile, or discover some gripes you didn’t realize you had. Yes, we moderated the submissions, as we had to weed out anything that was libelous, inflammatory, racist, hate speech, or fake news. We also ignored anything that was for or against a specific political figure or political party. Of course, we realize people have complaints, but going back and forth on politics is simply pathetic.  If you have a problem with this, please send us your complaints. We just love to hear from our fans.

The numbering is not a ranking.

Inflationary Injustice

1. Rent, food and gas go up a lot and wages stay the same. That’s my grievance. (Chucky)
2. Food makers who think we don’t notice when they shrink the package and charge the same price. Dear Scrooges. We see that. We notice. (We notice)
3. Big Mac is no longer big. Rename to Medium or Small Mac. (JK)
4. Those Bic Macs are now so small they probably have to pay more for someone to bake the tiny buns. (Fast and foodrious)
5. It’s ** $5 ** for ONE Big Mac now! (Anonymous)
6. I can’t believe the cost of groceries! Avocados were $5 each! (Ana Lora)

Money Misdoings

7. Non-optional automatic tipping. (Anonymous)
8. They give you a machine to pay for your meal and the tipping screen starts at twenty percent. You have to figure out which buttons to push to tip lower if you won’t tip the higher amount. (Costanza)
9. When I asked Xfinity why they raised the price $20 randomly in October, the representative said- “Because we Can!” (shelby)

Pet Peeves

10. The cats keep sniffing the Festivus pole. I’m not sure but the dog may have peed on it. (Anonymous)
11. Bags of dog poop at the park overflowing the bin smells like hell. (Renna)
12. My cat Sweetums has bad breath (Anonymous)
13. My cat Zoe yowls every morning at like 4am. From downstairs. Because she wants cuddles. I’m RIGHT HERE AND WOULD LOVE CUDDLES. Just come upstairs, Zoe! (Kelly)
14. My dog likes the cat more than he likes me. That’s messed up! (Frink)
15. Why are there so many cat videos online? Where are the duck and badger videos? (Anonymous)
16. Don’t you think our dogs are very happy that we pick up their poop and carry it around in a bag. Who’s a good boy? You are! (Anonymous)

Work Whines

17. My coworker freaks out over everything. The boss tells us to do something and they have a stress attack. It’s too much. (Anonymous)
18. I have a problem with companies giving awards to people who work in the company for just doing their jobs. I have a bigger problem with people who win such awards posting about how “honoured” they are to win them on social media. (Patrick)
19. Getting raises, but the cost of living is going up so fast that it you’re not getting ahead! (Mr. Cantstandja)
20. Managers who advise if you’re upset about the fact they laid off people a week before the holidays you’re to call the 1-800 support line. (Quitting)
21. My manager blames problems on the employees even if he caused the problem. (Anonymous)
22. People who work from home in big echoing rooms but take phone calls without a headset. (Anonymous)
23. Employers who constantly ask us to fill out engagement and pulse surveys, yet ignore any and all negative feedback. (Anonymous)
24. Healthcare tied to employment- who TF thought of that- keeps us miserable in jobs we hate! A thousand Festivus curses on that persons entire family! (Anonymous)
25. The foreman I work under. Is so stupid, he blew up a V8 gas engine in brand new work truck, with 20,000 miles on it. He thought it was diesel. He tells you how to do your job, so you do it his way and it’s still wrong. And has to be redone. It took 14 hours to install 30 ft of 6 inch pipe. Because of him. (Axle)
26. My boss is stupid. If brains were gasoline he wouldn’t have enough to power a moped around the inside of a cheerio. (Hello)

Entertainment Evils

27. Streaming services with commercials. I thought I paid you for no commercials? (Anonymous)
28. The Barbie movie is on my streaming service but not Oppenheimer. What am I supposed to do? (Anonymous)
29. I don’t see what’s so great about the Barbie movie? (Anonymous)
30. Why has there been any more than one Fast & Furious movie? It’s like a cinematic plague!!! I saw the first one for free…and I still want my money back!!! (Master of my Domain)
31. The Hallmark channel started playing Christmas movies in September. And the movies are basically all the same. Some even have the same actors. I also hate when Costco puts up the Christmas stuff in July. What the heck. (A-naan-ymous)
32. Taylor Swift. she’s just some rich white girl who struck it big. some people love her voice, and others say she’s a poet. I mean, come ON people. her singing sucks, her lyrics are stupid, and her outfits- well, I won’t even start on those. (you know I’m right)
33. The descriptions on Netflix are never grammatically correct. I mean, you’re a billion dollar streaming service, at least get an editor! (my name is Inigo Montoya)
34. Everybody but me thinks that Adrian Monk Is the big deal on the TV series Monk. Probably because it’s got his name on it I assume lol. But I think the big deal is Captain Stottlemeyer. I mean who doesn’t like some Ted Levine right. (Aster)
35. The Hollywood strike is over. It should be still be going on and never end in my opinion. Movies and TV shows were so much better back in the olden days. Nowadays, they just can’t find a way to entertain us anymore. (Anonymous)
36. People arguing which Christmas movie is the best. They’re all good. Watch them all. Except on Festivus when we watch Seinfeld. (Anonymous)
37. Netflix has made it harder to share Netflix. Greedy sons of… (Anonymous)

Driving Distress

38. Drivers who weave through traffic get there the same time as everyone else. (Anonymous)
39. People who don’t use their turn signals! (Anonymous)
40. And people who park in the left lane! It’s called “the passing lane” for a reason! (Anomalous)
41. People who don’t know how to merge. You don’t stop and wait for traffic to stop and let you in. (Anonymous)
42. Aggressive drivers think they own the road. They make it unsafe for everyone. (Anonymous)
43. Your turning signal is a built in piece of safety equipment. Not an optional feature. (Driver)
44. Slow drivers in the left lane. Why is this still a thing? (Anonymous)
45. People who slow down when a light turns yellow despite having an ample amount of time to go through it. (Anonymous)

Sports Squawks

46. I am sick of listening to these cry baby FSU fans. Get in a better conference. (Anonymous)
47. Maryland doesn’t have a soccer team. (soccer fanatic)
48. Jacksonville Jaguars. (Chucky)
49. The Bills still haven’t won the Super Bowl. I’ve gotten rejected by 5 girls this year alone with one ghosting me after wanting to go out with me. Another girl I really liked and met at college is dating my good friend. I wasn’t able to get into the same dorm building next year with all my friends and now have to walk 20 minutes to get to campus next year in New Brunswick winters. Micro Econ took 10 years off my life. Young Sheldon is ending. Captain Holt died. Damar Hamlin literally died on the field and got me worried for days on end for him. FSU still owns Miami Hurricanes football. None of my college friends live within 1000 km of me during winter break and the summer. (Gobills)
50. Baseball players have a dugout but football players have a bench. Why don’t football players have a dugout? Also, why do football players have a little tent to go inside when they get a boo boo? Is that because they don’t have a dugout? (Anonymous)
51. I have an issue with the CFP and its playoff decisions based soley on which matchups are predicted to make the most money/tv revenue. Does winning matter anymore?!?!? (George)
52. New York Jets fans just give up already. (Anonymous)
53. The NFL needs better referees. Get Taylor Swift fans to do it. They have better sense of what’s going on and that’s not saying much. (Jackie)
54. Millionaire football players throwing a tantrum because they don’t win. (Anonymous)

Political Woes

55. Politics divides people. It’s not healthy. Figure out who you like and go vote. Don’t try to convince me to vote the same way. (Anonymous)
56. Republicans versus Democrats is a viscous circle of lies and bullcrap. This even divides families. People need to forget about the continuous conjecture and live their lives. Live and love. (Ray)
57. Some of the grievances on here are too political. Thats it, thats the grievance. I got a lotta problems with you people! (Moviephone boice)
58. Every politician should have to take an IQ test and a lie detector test to be on the ballot. (Broseph)

Family Flack

59. Children, in general. Especially my own. (Anonymous)
60. I made some jerk chicken the other day. And he didn’t even say thank you! (Big D in BC)
61. Relatives that invite themselves over for the holidays. Just because we’re related doesn’t mean I need to put up with you. (Anonymous)
62. People who notice that something’s empty and still leave it in the fridge like who the f$ck are YOU to do that (Danny S.D.D.)

Grammar Groans

63. I have a problem with all the people out there who use an exclamation mark to end every sentence in emails. (Patrick)
64. Stop ending your sentences with I or using I incorrectly! The pronoun I is used at the beginning of the sentence. (Anonymous)
65. I got a problem with all you people who pronounce the “T” in the word “often” – it’s not OFF-TEN, it’s OFF-en. (Bob Sacamano)
66. I hate grammar nazis. (Anonymous)

I’ve Got a lot of problems with you people

67. I got a big problem with servers in coffee shops who hand me a card payment machine with tip options on the screen and want me to choose one when I just ordered a coffee at the counter. Handing a coffee across the counter in a take out cup does not warrant a tip. That is not a tippable activity. If I sit in and the server takes my order at the table and then brings me the coffee, that’s a tippable activity. Then my wife always says “oh you have to add a 20% tip” for the counter coffee because everybody else does, that drives me crazy too and I have a big problem with that. Plus the 20% tip isn’t even the smallest tip option and it’s really hard to find the “no tip” option because it’s deliberately small and on the wrong place on the screen of the card payment machine. The counter coffee order that is fully completed at the counter by handing over a coffee is not a tippable activity. Never has and never will. (Tom)
68. I got a lot of problems with you people and now you’re gonna hear about it! My mother-in-law, you complain about everything but never contribute anything either. Michelin, why won’t you sell the CrossClimate 2 over here? The provincial expressway people, what’s the deal with 80 km/h speed limits and annual construction on the G3023? And lastly, my wife. I love you but if you want me to handle the navigation, you could at least tell me where we’re going first. Serenity now! Serenity now! (not Frank Costanza)
69. I’m sick of reality television. The person who won Survivor didn’t deserve it. I should just stop watching the show altogether. A few years, when I read that they started allowing Canadians to appear on Survivor, I suggested to CBS (via e-mail) that there should be a U.S.A. vs. Canada edition. I’m still waiting, but I don’t know if I’m going to get it. Also, when I watch Survivor, there always seems to be an all-female alliance. Is there ever going to be an all-male alliance one day? Plus, I hate the reunion shows now. They take place on the island instead of at the CBS studio. Because of that, we can only see the contestants that made it to the jury and not the contestants that were voted out before like they used to do. I’ve cut Amazing Race out of my life, I’ve cut Hell’s Kitchen out of my life. Now, it’s time to pull the plug on Survivor. (Anonymous)

Axes to Grind

70. It’s too bad it’s not real because I always wanted Seven Minute Abs. (Anonymous)
71. People who don’t close the lid on the toilet. It’s there for a reason. (you know I’m right)
72. Why isn’t there egg in my egg rolls. Did one of those egg council creeps get in there? (Anonymous)
73. The people who pronounce potatoes as “potatas.” Absolutely ridiculous. (JD Slanger)
74. Self checkout. You want me to perform my own checkout then you watch me like I’m stealing from you? Hilarious. (Anonymous)
75. Hotel room service menu that was a QR code stuck to a table… and it gave you a broken web site. I’m starving here! (Reid Cummings)
76. My grievance is against anyone who bashes Dolly Parton. (Anonymous)

Just Bull Crap!

77. Those videos that promise a big reveal and then they beat around the bush for 15 minutes trying to keep you watching because there need you to see the advertising. It’s shameful and pathetic. Get a life. (Deb)
78. Criminals can no longer hot wire a car so they carjack you. (Anonymous)
79. Twitter is now called X. Seems like a downgrade. Remember when the illiterate cannot sign their name they print an X. (Anonymous)

I’ve got a lot on my mind!

80. Don’t read this comment if you don’t want spoilers. The movie No Hard Feelings didn’t end the way it should have. The fact that Maddie (Jennifer Lawrence) and Percy (Andrew Barth Feldman) didn’t end up together felt like a punch to the gut. Although they remain friends, albeit long distance, it felt like a loss that they didn’t end up in a relationship. I don’t know if this movie will have a sequel. If it does, it should have them get back together. If it’s ok for Jennifer Lawrence to be with Christian Bale, Javier Bardem, Bradley Cooper, Joel Edgerton, Chris Pratt (who had no chemistry with J Law in Passengers) per se, why can’t she and Andrew Barth Feldman end up together in No Hard Feelings? I liked it when she ended up with Peeta (Josh Hutcherson) in the Hunger Games and Timothee Chalamet in Don’t Look Up. Why not Percy? Aren’t we entitled to reparations? Now, I am just hoping and praying that the movie she’s planning to do with Lynne Ramsay (Die, My Love) never happens. (Anonymous)
81. For my birthday, I got a new game called Circuit Maze. For those who don’t know what it is, it’s a logic game where you make a puzzle, which if successful lights up. I started playing the game and I noticed a few things wrong with it. First, the game needs batteries, but to insert the batteries, you need a little screwdriver to open the case and put the batteries in. You think that would be bad enough. Another issue I had is that the pieces never stay in place. In order for it to light up, I usually have to press down on the pieces. That’s so annoying. And, why is the beginner section so difficult? I mean, come on! Imagine that there’s something you want and you finally get it, but it turns out to be a major letdown. That’s what Circuit Maze is. I don’t know if I can even bother taking it back for a refund since I already opened the plastic thing which had the cards that showed the puzzles to perform. What a disappointing gift. (Anonymous)

People are the Worst!

82. People who post pictures of their dinner (Santa Claus)
83. People who leave their outdoor Christmas lights up until March (Anonymous)
84. Those people who really need you to watch a video they found, and won’t let you leave until it’s done and you laugh. (Newman)
85. I hate people that constantly post their Wordle scores on Facebook (Mary)
86. I get really frustrated by people who leave their cart in the middle of the grocery store aisle and I instantly assume they were raised by wolves. (Grie Vance)
87. When someone says “excuse me” to you when getting past them in public, acknowledge them! Don’t just be silent! Even a “mhm!” Something!!! Do these people think they’re so much better than everyone else? Are you going to let me through, but you feel I don’t deserve the time of day for an acknowledgement of my existence??? (Maestro)
88. People who don’t understand the notion of both lining up correctly both for stores and metro cars (public transit) . Make an orderly line and/or scooch in- I mean really–who are you? OH and Just because you are of a certain older/wiser age doesn’t mean that I will tolerate your rudeness in either situation… Everyone has someplace that they need to be or items to purchase…get a life (Anonymous)

Global Grief

89. Too much hate and killing in the world. Religion solves nothing. (H.g.)
90. Biased news. need I say more? (meatloaf on a bed of lettuce)
91. Vegas has a giant sphere shaped video screen but they can’t feed and house the people who live in tent cities? (Common sense)
92. Watching the news makes me angry and sad. There has to be a better way. (Anonymous)
93. Dear climate change deniers. It must be hard to deny the obvious. (Anonymous)
94. People who still don’t believe in climate change are the same people who bought into the idea that cigarettes are harmless. (P K)

Genuine Grumbles

95. This is for my WAS -band. After our divorce was finalized, you made the perimeters for seeing “our dogs” so impossible, that I had to give them up. I curse you every day. I loved those dogs, they were my children. May Karma come at you when you least expect it. (Costanzas Dad Rules)
96. My wife went across the country to visit family last week. When she left, I had covid for the first time. The second night at 12:30 AM, my daughter threw up all over the bathroom floor, shat her britches because the stomach bug she had then broke a glass while trying to drink some water. I cleaned all of them up and did some laundry because the mess got all over clothes, bath mats, towels, etc. My other daughter caught what big sister had. Nevertheless, I made sure the kids were well fed and the house was spotless when my wife came home two days ago. She was so happy that she wanted to thank me properly, if you know what I mean, but she was too tired from traveling all day Wednesday. Yesterday afternoon, I contracted violent diarrhea, the likes of which I have only experienced once on a trip to Mexico. This is likely my daughter’s stomach bug. That put an end to any hope I had of grown-up fun. Seems like the only thing I can’t catch is a break. (Anonymous)
97. I applied to join an Accounting program at my school. I should’ve already started but I can’t join the group until February because I already have equivalencies in some of the modules I did while in Secretarial Studies. I should’ve applied for the earlier program. Maybe I’d be doing the classes now instead of having to wait until February. That way, I’d be finishing the program in 2024 and not 2025. Also, it’ll mostly be online, which means I’ll have to do it from home. Doesn’t do me a lot of good. It’s like what George says, if he watched the Home Alone VHS at his place, it felt like he was doing nothing. At Jerry’s, it felt like he was doing something. Me doing it at the school feels like I’m doing something. I’ve been a part of that school since 2010. Are they sick of me or something? Either way, I feel like I’m being marginalized. (Anonymous)
98. Over the past few months, I applied for nine jobs within the Riverside School Board. Nine! Guess how many callbacks I received. Zero! I even modified my portfolio on the website that I applied on. A friend of mine told me that I should modify my CV, which I did. But I don’t know if it was the right thing to do or not. Thing is that I’ve been with Riverside since 1996 – 27 years! Yeah, you read that right. I sometimes get this suspicious feeling that they’re ignoring me on purpose. I don’t know if that’s the case, but I just feel so insulted after all the years that I’ve devoted and dedicated to being a part of the RSB. People tell me that I should look elsewhere, but they don’t understand how much this board means to me. It’s like they want me to follow another dream. Ridiculous. (Anonymous)

Seinfeld Sorrow

99. These pretzels are making me thirsty! (Gary)
100. Someone accused my friend, Dr. Bison of being a guilty bystander. Have you ever heard of a guilty bystander? No, because you cannot be a bystander and be guilty. Bystanders are by definition, innocent. That is the nature of bystanding. I find it outrageous, egregious, preposterous!! (Jackie Chiles)
101. People who had ponies when they were little. (Jerry Dingleberry)
102. The carpet sweeper is the biggest scam since 1 hour martinizing. (Kman)

Festivus Fuss

103. People say there’s a war on Christmas. I say there has to be a better way. (Anonymous)
104. I almost lost my festivus shirt but found it, though I have to suffer trying on the clothes from my closet every year (Anonymous)
105. My grievance; I have spent a lot of money on lottery scratchers over the years as christmas presents and NO ONE has won a significant amount. oh yeah sure 50$ here and there but no 100,000. winners no 5,000. winners maybe 100.00 but why over the years has NO ONE hit it big!!! I am beginning to think this lottery thing is a scam!!! (Qtummings)
106. People who put lights on their festivus pole. (Frank)
107. You couldn’t smooth a silk sheet if you had a hot date with a babe (Frank)

Final Fury

108. Taco Tuesday gave me the hot poops. (Pedro)
109. Oh you’re going to put a whole block of cream cheese in there. Won’t that make me fatter? (Anonymous)
110. Patients in the emergency department who get mad when you tell them they’re fine. (Anonymous)
111. Bitcoin sounds fake to me. (Anonymous)
112. Lego is a toy and it’s for kids. (Jeff)
113. Those social media video posts that are 15 minutes long just to show you someone that could have taken 10 seconds. They keep milking it. Stop it! (Anonymous)
114. Dear A&W I want a few ice cubes in my drink. Just a few. Why don’t you have ice cubes? (I want a cold drink)
115. I very much have a problem with how my science teacher teaches. (BAMAGIRL3479)

That’s the list! If you wish to respond, or have a grievance of your own, please use the comment form below.

Hope you had a Happy Festivus!