Festivus Feats of Strength
A Festivus celebration is certainly not complete without the "Feats of Strength".
Frank: Alright, George. It's time for the feats of strength.
George: No! No! Turn it off! No feats of strength!
The Feats of Strength will normally follow the Airing of Grievances. In Seinfeld, the actual Feats of Strength are never shown, but it is clearly stated that "Festivus is not over until the head of the household is wrestled to the floor and pinned".
In Seinfeld tradition, it is usually the head of family's choice as to who will participate in the Feats of Strength, however a person is allowed to decline the offer only if they have something better to do instead.
Frank: And now as Festivus rolls on, we come to the feats of strength.
George: Not the feats of strength..
Frank: This year, the honor goes to Mr. Kramer.
Kramer: Uh-oh. Oh, gee, Frank, I'm sorry. I gotta go. I have to work a double shift at H&H.
If the appointed person cannot participate, it is also appropriate for another guest to suggest who should participate in the "Feats of Strength".
George: Kramer! You can't go! Who's gonna do the feats of strength?
Kruger: (Sipping liquor from a flask) How about George?
Frank: Good thinking, Kruger. Until you pin me, George, Festivus is not over!
George:Oh, please, somebody, stop this!
Once the participants are identified, the "Feats of Strength" should begin by the head of household removing any bulky clothing and shouting the phrase "Let's Rumble"
Frank: (Taking off his sweater) Let's rumble!
Festivus Party Feats of Strength Ideas
In accordance with Seinfeld tradition, Festivus is not complete until the head of the household is wrestled to the floor and pinned. However, one thing to consider for your Festivus Party is to have Feats of Strength that do not require a visit to the emergency room and/or long term physiotherapy. So, you may want to avoid any Manly Feats of Strength.
Many Festivus Party hosts have thought of good alternatives to a wrestling match. Here are some good ideas:
- Arm Wrestling is fun but it usually ends up with a lot of people with sore arms. Avoid this if people are not burly enough.
- Thumb Wrestling. Some Festivus celebrations have adopted thumb wrestling as a suitable and safe feat of strength. The addition of tiny wrestling masks to your thumb makes it even more zany.
- Break out the Wii and use something like Wii boxing as your feats of strength.
- Games. A Horsehoes or Darts tournament might be great, or rousing game of Twister might be just the thing to get people going.
- Two words... Beer Pong!
- Have a staring contest. Kind of boring but totally no stress and no contact.
- Tickle fight is a good alternative. You tickle each other until one person submits. This is a good alternative for a party with a lot of singles. If there are small children at the gathering then you could send them to tickle the "head of the household" until he/she submits, then give the kids a treat for their efforts.
- Leg Wrestling. This is usually a no stress physical activity. Make sure you have a large enough space available!
- There is an obscure sport called Finger Jousting. It might be the perfect thing for an obscure holiday?
- Who can hold their breathe the longest?
Options we do not recommend:
- Anything to do with fire, including the lighting of farts.
- Anything that involves the rolling or riding of shopping carts down hills.
- Anything that requires people to climb up on the roof.
- Anything that involves injesting or even sucking of anything. Nickels can be poisonous if consumed in quantity.
The important thing is to HAVE fun, and not to figure out who is the biggest, strongest galoot of the bunch.
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