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  1. Anonymous
    Anonymous at · · Reply

    I’m compelled to air grievances on this festivus aimed squarely at the obvious commercializatiom of Festivus. Other major holidays are beginning to understand its not appropriate to outwardly celebrate for fear of offending others. True traditionists understand festivus is holiday for the rest of us where people gather to celebrate nothing. It has been taken from this purity and corrupted by some slick aluminium pole salesman and the beef industry. What next Festivus favorites CDs T-shirts. Don’t let this happen to last holiday that has no value. Fight the push to define Festivus as just another opportunity consume with reckless abandon. Live, Love, Complain. Wrestle for the true meaning of Festivus. Absolutely nothing

  2. Me
    Me at · · Reply

    People and things that piss me off:
    – when my cat insists on taking a nap on my forearm while I try to work on the computer.

    – my clients constantly trying to chisel me.

    – complainers

    – people that think data is something to sift through until they find evidence that validates their ideas, efforts or existence.

    – the general misunderstanding and devaluation of science in every segment of American society. This will be the death of us all.

    – people, who aren’t dining alone, immersed in their cell phones at restaurants. If you are saving lives or even solving modest problems, stand up, excuse yourself for a minute, go outside and deal with the issue, then come back and actually interact with the human beings you agreed to break bread with. If you are just surfing FB, texts and Twitter, your life is a pathetic tragedy, your soul an empty shell.

    – lazy, selfish parents that fail to teach their kids basic manners like when it is and isn’t appropriate to immerse one’s self in one’s phone

    – Complainers. Don’t cheapen the airing of grievances by continuing this sacrament throughout the year.

    – Slow drivers in the left lane!

    – Bo Pelini. That last speech to the team was so childish. Booo hooo! You weren’t supported. You get paid millions and control a massive budget, then tell the young men you are supposed to lead that you weren’t supported, when the truth is you don’t know how to stop the run! Great lessons you are giving those kids about accountability and maturity. Some of them may never unlearn the deeply flawed views you poured in to their brains.

    – vegetarians

    – breeders

    – the FDA and all enemies of freedom

    – time warner, cox and other media Monopolists

    – just about everyone in the government and all beurocrats everywhere

    HAPPY FESTIVUS!!!!!

  3. Arne
    Arne at · · Reply

    My pet grievance? People, especially family members, who hide behind the Xmas holiday. They use Christmas as a pretext to make nice. Not even as an opportunity to make up for the wrong they’ve done. God forbid. (For that would take courage.) But these bozos and bimbos just use the positive atmosphere of the birth of Baby Jesus, as a Trojan Horse through which they might furtively reestablish an otherwise kaput interaction, the severance of which interaction, they are wholly responsible for.

    It’s an altogether bogus exercise in futility, the very definition of a “Peanut’s” Lucy and the football setup of Charlie Brown. Too cynical? Now I’ll tell you what I really think! Just kidding. Have a Merry

  4. Crystal
    Crystal at · · Reply

    1) Corporate-speak. “Reach out to” (a client). Sounds like a cult. 2) Performance evals. A waste of time and formality that doesn’t affect your raise. 3) Hiring superiors who don’t know what the hell they’re doing. It’s like they purposely hire the least qualified. 4) Propaganda. Blah blah blah. You can give the spiel about the company’s core values and mission ad nauseum. We all know you want to turn a profit. It’s like we’re engaged in a mutual lie.

  5. Me
    Me at · · Reply

    To all lazy and ignorant Co workers who complain about everyone, yet STILL don’t do the job they were hired to do…you suck. Instead of being grateful for employment, you goof off and have a stank arse, nasty arse ghetto attitude when you are called out!!!! It is ABSOLUTELY PAINFUL to work with you. Yuck. To all the mean girls who are actually grown women who are married and are mothers, you are ABSOLUTELY PATHETIC. You are going to be mean and conniving to the wrong person and they are going to whoop your pasty faced, thin liped, emotionally immature arse

  6. Annonymous
    Annonymous at · · Reply

    This is a note to a couple co-workers who think its ok to cut your fingernails at work while everyone else is working. You are disgusting & nobody wants to hear you or see you cutting your f****** fingernails. Stop the madness & get your nasty a** back to work!! If you want a manicure, do it at home NOT AT WORK!!!

  7. RST
    RST at · · Reply

    Dear people of the world: It is fine to play Candy Crush while you’re waiting. If you’re texting about something important, fine. If you’re Instagram-ing a selfie you just took, that’s your business.
    But for the LOVE OF HELL, GET OUT OF THE MIDDLE OF THE PATH!!!!!!
    It’s annoying because you’re walking into people all over the place who have to go out of their way to avoid you. And then they catch a glimpse of your screen and see you typing LOL.

  8. Serenity Now!!!!
    Serenity Now!!!! at · · Reply

    No, I do not like the smell of your coffee breath. Please back the f- up off of me, close talker!

  9. Corey
    Corey at · · Reply

    I have got one grievance to air, and that one is people need to do s/.$t with a purpose and not just mosey around!!!!!!

  10. So Over It
    So Over It at · · Reply

    To the Ex girlfriend who moved in 3 houses down from my family.. You are a desperate, awful person. Leave my kids alone. No, They cannot play with yours. NO you cannot call and wish ANYONE a Happy Birthday. Quit sending yours over to give them or my husband back things they left there years ago. Why the H E double hockey sticks do you still have them anyway? Cray Cray.. Stalker much?
    Quit signing your kids up for the same activities as mine. You don’t even go to the same school… How do you even know?

    To my husband: You better step up and put this nasty spiky haired (bad word) in her place quick. We are totally not a domestic drama type of family. Grow a sac and stop ignoring the issue. I trust you 100% so thats not a problem… She is a thorn in my side. And her presence confuses the kids. Step up. Or I can step out.

    To Men in Omaha: Women can do lots of things besides cook and make babies. Look at me when I speak to you ESPECIALLY when it is about business.

    To my employee who has decided she can ignore me: I am your superior and second in command of the company you work for…Do you REALLY want to keep your job?

    To North Korea: Suck it.. I lived in South Korea, it is a country of amazing people, food, and entertainment. Do better.

    To Fake Yoga people: You can’t mask your narcissistic being by standing on your head and saying OM. And no, I will not take your Yoga training for $5000… Stop asking and let me enjoy my practice.

    To my kids bio mom: I wish that you were a better person. You are not a terrible mom, you just suck at life. Your boyfriend is gross and a terrible role model for the kids… Hammers are not pillows.. Don’t throw them. I hope this year, with your new fancy job and car, you learn to respect yourself a lot more and help us be there in the best ways for the kids. Also, I hope you go mute so you can’t yell with that nasally voice anymore. PS… You love that car more than your son, so …. KARMA. Just saying.

    Happy Festivus…

  11. Anonymous
    Anonymous at · · Reply

    I can decide for MYSELF how many Dr. Pepper’s to drink per day!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  12. Lost Decade
    Lost Decade at · · Reply

    For all those people in my former office who did not have the decency to say goodbye when I left after working for them 10 years – 60 hours a week , the lies they told me before I left – I can only say to you all :

    KARMA – is a B****H – and her middle name is YOUGETWHATUDESERVE!

  13. Sarah Ferguson
    Sarah Ferguson at · · Reply

    My teenage child cannot stand that we have ‘no food’ in the house, only ‘ingredients’.

    I can’t stand teenage attitudes.

  14. Mary Ann
    Mary Ann at · · Reply

    I berate the Hollywood entertainment industry for caving in to blackmail. Show some backbone, folks!

    I object to all the people who’ve almost collided with me while they stare down at their texts. Stop this addiction now! Look me in the eye!

    I’m sick of being micro-managed at work. I’m a responsible adult, I know how to do my job!

    But most of all, I detest the cruelty that exists in people. All those murdered children in Peshawar, Pakistan…innocent human beings still being killed by drones…serial killers still at large in this country, people disappearing in South America.

    That’s enough. Festivus should be a time we can think about ways to improve humanity. We should remember the feats of strength we exhibit when we show compassion, empathy, and charity toward people outside our little circle of friends and family. Raise the aluminum pole high, it is light in weight like compassion and empathy, but it is strong like our instinct for charity and giving. Happy Festivus.

  15. Crushed
    Crushed at · · Reply

    No, i don’t want to play Candy Crush. Not on Facebook or in person.

    I would not like it here or there. I would not like it anywhere.

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